Okay, I'm scared.
It's been a dry spell here at the board and computer...words haven't been forthcoming and neither have the revisions. I could say my dog Maizie Marbles ate up my words, my brain's batteries died, or that I fell asleep as Sleeping Beauty did according to the story. But I'd be lying and I don't lie. Not well. Not ever. It goes against my moral compass and my code of ethics. So I'll confess: other, seemingly more important priorities seemed to squeeze in the way of my intentions and took over. For instance: being on FaceBook with my friends, talking to people about creating a website, doing laundry, washing dishes, keeping the house clean, cleaning out our rabbit, Mr. Milo's house weekly, walking Maizie Marbles so she stays in shape and so do I, driving to and from the east end because I live in two places simultaneously despite one husband who remains in one, snowstorms too many to count, real estate matters that seemed to consume the better part of my work ethic and better judgment, and admittedly, succombing to idle laziness whenever possible. An essential exercise especially in the freezing days of winter snow. How after all, could I write and draw when the roads were covered with a nor'easter storm snow and too dangerous to drive on. We were all told to stay off the roads and at home. Now do you see my point? I was helpless and hopeless.
After attending the three day conference of SCBWI in Manhattan, I was fired up and ready to plunge into my dream world and imagination, writing and illustrating, practicing to be what I yearn to become/am. Shortly thereafter winter set in again. My spirits were quelled and I hid under the blankees. Cozy comforts.
Since I seem to have lost my way I have decided to implement the following:
I have to hire a better guard of my time, the one I have is not getting paid anything but does a terrible job of managing my schedule. That Guard has been my conscience. So, tomorrow begins order. Law & Order. The new work laws have strict boundaries. No fooling around on FB. Let the laundry pile up, we have clothing to last the rest of the year. Cleaning of the house can rest for a while. My husband and I wear glasses more frequently with each day and the dust doesn't seem to be that thick yet. Whatever lies on the floor we don't necessarily have to make a point of looking for, it will, at some point, be dragged around by the cat, Mr. Baxter, and we'll pick it up. Food shopping can be kept to a weekly excursion, perhaps less as the need to diet is no longer a question but a fact. Winter has a way of making sure you store fat in places you didn't think you had but are frantic to see disappear before summer if not sooner.
In a concerted effort to abide by the new Work Laws I am hereby assigning myself the luxury of avoiding all jobs for compensation, real or otherwise unreal, to do this: write and illustrate. School will help me focus and I'll "get back on track", "ride the wave", be "in the groove", or "into the flow"....whatever best describes it...I've got to get it. And as long as I'm writing this I can't get "it".
This is what it used to feel like when I had to have a report done for school...proscrastinate until you're on nerves end and then burn the candle at both ends while you drag to the finish with bleary eyes in the morning. When you see "A" at the top of the paper you sigh with great relief and another chapter has closed, only to begin the next. That's where I am. I gave myself "A" for setting the sails and leaving the harbor. It's not enough to know I have a destination but that I have the determination and belief that my talents are directed by my navigational instincts and through those, I will arrive where my heart longs to be. There is so much diverse talent in the market it can snuff your fire out rapidly if you let the storm of insecurity pass over your glow. My feeling is there is always room for another expression of work and the more the merrier.
Tomorrow is Valentines' Day.
Valentines' Day is a good day to fall in love with your talents and dedicate yourself to the creative side of yourself...the one you love the most! So for all of you procrastinators, give your best creative love your all...it deserves it!
Here's to my teachers and my love of my world...and you! Thanks for being here...you're very important to me. Here's to LOVE...it's what we all desire and need to give more freely. The gift of giving is a gift unto itself.
With Love and Hugs xo
Me
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