BACK TO SCHOOL! (REFLECTIONS OF PAST HABITS)

Tomorrow is the BIG day!  School begins! I'm excited...and nervous. 
Okay, I'm scared. 
It's been a dry spell here at the board and computer...words haven't been forthcoming and neither have the revisions. I could say my dog Maizie Marbles ate up my words, my brain's batteries died, or that I fell asleep as Sleeping Beauty did according to the story.  But I'd be lying and I don't lie.  Not well.  Not ever.  It goes against my moral compass and my code of ethics.  So I'll confess: other, seemingly more important priorities seemed to squeeze in the way of my intentions and took over.  For instance:  being on FaceBook with my friends, talking to people about creating a website, doing laundry, washing dishes, keeping the house clean, cleaning out our rabbit, Mr. Milo's house weekly, walking Maizie Marbles so she stays in shape and so do I, driving to and from the east end because I live in two places simultaneously despite one husband who remains in one, snowstorms too many to count, real estate matters that seemed to consume the better part of my work ethic and better judgment, and admittedly, succombing to idle laziness whenever possible.  An essential exercise especially in the freezing days of winter snow.  How after all, could I write and draw when the roads were covered with a nor'easter storm snow and too dangerous to drive on.  We were all told to stay off the roads and at home.   Now do you see my point?  I was helpless and hopeless.
After attending the three day conference of SCBWI in Manhattan,  I was fired up and ready to plunge into my dream world and imagination, writing and illustrating, practicing to be what I yearn to become/am. Shortly thereafter winter set in again.  My spirits were quelled and I hid under the blankees.  Cozy comforts. 
Since I seem to have lost my way I have decided to implement the following:  
I have to hire a better guard of my time, the one I have is not getting paid anything but does a terrible job of managing my schedule. That Guard has been my conscience.  So, tomorrow begins order.  Law & Order.  The new work laws have strict boundaries.  No fooling around on FB.  Let the laundry pile up, we have clothing to last the rest of the year. Cleaning of the house can rest for a while.  My husband and I wear glasses more frequently with each day and the dust doesn't seem to be that thick yet. Whatever lies on the floor we don't necessarily have to make a point of looking for, it will, at some point, be dragged around by the cat, Mr. Baxter, and we'll pick it up. Food shopping can be kept to a weekly excursion, perhaps less as the need to diet is no longer a question but a fact. Winter has a way of making sure you store fat in places you didn't think you had but are frantic to see  disappear before summer if not sooner.  
In a concerted effort to abide by the new Work Laws I am hereby assigning myself the luxury of avoiding all jobs for compensation, real or otherwise unreal, to do this: write and illustrate.  School will help me focus and I'll "get back on track", "ride the wave", be "in the groove", or "into the flow"....whatever best describes it...I've got to get it.  And as long as I'm writing this I can't get "it". 
This is what it used to feel like when I had to have a report done for school...proscrastinate until you're on nerves end and then burn the candle at both ends while you drag to the finish with bleary eyes in the morning.  When you see "A" at the top of the paper you sigh with great relief and another chapter has closed, only to begin the next.  That's where I am.  I gave myself "A" for setting the sails and leaving the harbor.  It's not enough to know I have a destination but that I have the determination and belief that my talents are directed by my navigational instincts and through those, I will arrive where my heart longs to be. There is so much diverse talent in the market it can snuff your fire out rapidly if you let the storm of insecurity pass over your glow.  My feeling is there is always room for another expression of work and the more the merrier. 
Tomorrow is Valentines' Day. 
Valentines' Day is a good day to fall in love with your talents and dedicate yourself to the creative side of yourself...the one you love the most!  So for all of you procrastinators, give your best creative love your all...it deserves it!
Here's to my teachers and my love of my world...and you!  Thanks for being here...you're very important to me. Here's to LOVE...it's what we all desire and need to give more freely.  The gift of giving is a gift unto itself. 
With Love and Hugs xo
Me

NIGHT AND DAY, I AM THE ONE

Okay.  Here we are sitting at the desk again.  Page is empty.  Nothing today is coming up in the mind.  Alot of well meaning intent to work is present but no actual productivity.  It could be that it is day time, a bright and sunny day meant for serious work, but I am beginning to believe I am of the nocturnal sort.  Not only do I thrive in the deep dark navy blue night, but my best work emerges...like bats out of the cave, rushing to life! I am most creative when everyone else's mind is long departed the hours of consciousness.  Every evening I hear the great singular owl in my woods and know it's time to write and draw. 
If I look in the mirror will I see a caricature of a Halloweenish face...dark and eery, or the pig tailed girl in a red corduroy jumper I draw and call "Abigail"...an obvious self portrait. 
Let's face it, when everyone else is asleep, the telephone doesn't ring from the office, the washer and dryer are done churning, the mailman/woman isn't rapping at the door, and the animals lie peacefully together, curled around themselves in slumber.  My darling sweet husband is fast asleep long before I, and my son is at college so I know he's perfectly safe and sound...right? Don't answer that last question...I consider no telephone call a sign that all is well with him. So, I ask myself, isn't this the perfect time to really hone in on my creative right and left side brain?  And what about the top and bottom or middle of my brain...those sections are feverishly at work as well.  We're plugged in and the thoughts pour out of me....onto the paper and into the computer via my fingers, tentacles of energy typing rapidly to the words as they line up in my mind to connect to become sentences.

Nightfall is fast approaching.  It's just after five pm.  Time to get ready for I am the one, the only, in this house that will yearn for the dark to begin my thoughts and work!  Is this normal?  Don't answer me.  Wackiness is what gives color to my work.  I'll quietly keep it tucked inside by day...and let it jump out at night.  Best of both worlds.  

SNOW STORM COMING RUN FOR THE COVERS! (BLANKEES)

There is simply no time to talk about writing or drawing...we're collecting candles and making sandwiches to take under the blankees when the snow storm hits...we may not have electricity so the new fangled computer won't be working and if all fails electronically, my iPhone may go kaput as well!  So for now my friends, gather the nuts and bolts and flashlights and take cover...tomorrow we'll build a monster snowman and terrorize the neighborhood!

A SURGE OF ENERGY IS NECESSARY!

It is the hour when almost all creative fizzle is fizzled.  I am sitting in my office.  No, not the office of choice, but rather the office of my everyday life.  Where I am to the world at large, a licensed associate real estate broker.  Do not tell people you meet that I am a real estate broker.  It would confuse them.  I am REALLY an illustrator and writer of children's books.  But during the day I dress up as a broker and show people houses for sale and rent and work until the middle of the next day preparing for the next day.  Nobody knows how long and hard a real estate broker works.  So, why tell you now?  I live and breathe with the real estate market's changes.  Tonight I am mid-way between both and am nearly ready to change costumes. 

My artist and writer's outfit is remarkably more comfortable.  This is what I look like at the end of the day.  Frazzled! Perplexed!  It's time to go home.  Even the streets are empty.  It's nearly midnight and my dog is asleep at my feet under my desk.  A car drove by.  Probably lost.  Or, maybe its a real estate broker previewing properties for tomorrow.  We do that you know...look at houses in the dark because there isn't enough time in the day to see them all.

 I have to spend some time with the characters in my book.   We have an appointment every day.  I'm late now.  Stuffed up in my lap top is no place for active personalities.  I'll be back soon...after I put in some time creating what matters...laughter and joy.  Two things that come out of my brain when I'm free to write and let go with my imagination.  Great colors are ready to burst!!!!   The character above is actually a Professor...she's part of my book in progress.  Good night everyone!  Goodnight everyone...sweet dreams!

JULES FEIFFER: AN EVENING WITH A MASTER TALENT

Rule # 1: Do not be afraid to jump.  Jump as far out from the norm as you can imagine.  Leap into your imagination.  Let go.  Don't try to control anything you are writing or drawing.  See where you go...your idea/story will take you there.  You don't control what is happening...you shouldn't try to.  Amaze yourself.  Surprise yourself.  Creativity begins when you let your imagination flow.

Words of the wonderfully talented and gifted cartoonist,illustrator, writer, children's book writer/illustrator, and film screenwriter...THE one and only; Jules Feiffer.

Last night my friend and I sat front and center row at The Society of Illustrators in New York City to hear Mr. Feiffer discuss his  extraordinary career.  He shared with his audience, his personal insights as a writer and illustrator and what he has learned over the decades about himself and his profession.  Regaling his rise to success with a modicum of humility, and self deprecation, Mr. Feiffer spoke to the problems most of us with less ability and success behind them, experience.  He articulated the fears and insecurities we all face; are we good enough, will this drawing/illustration/script/story work out? Will anyone find my work interesting enough to want to publish it?  Does it make a difference? 

What I and my friend, a life long creative art director for many magazines, heard and felt, was his energy, his complete understanding of what we all feel...as he expressed so well, as though he could read our minds.  Jules Feiffer is an American treasure.  If you don't know his work I suggest finding it...in books and archives of the Village Voice and in film and theatre.  Politically astute and sharp as a razor, he's crisp, satirical, and brilliant in his execution.  I'm eager to write, draw, and discover in my work, all that  I do not yet know is coming to my story and my illustrations...thank you Mr. Feiffer! 

The Society of Illustrators has a wonderful show of original children's book illustrations/paintings at this time...take a look...it's terrific!  Now, back to my story and drawing board!

I'm jumping!

Writing a Children's Book: Late Nights

Once again it's late at night.  I'm in between yawns. It's isn't easy writing thoughts that will translate into meaningful feelings to others who read mere words.  And it is difficult to focus on the subject matter...chasing the imagery,

 the direction seems scattered at times...but always, it is an adventure as to how far my imagination can go...and it does...and I am always surprised and delighted...to giggles!

I move along with the story as though I were living in it...transported by my seemingly effortless racing mind, and I begin to believe in my own ridiculousness and think, "Why not?"  Then it becomes reality that "could be" and perhaps "should be".  I start to laugh inside myself and the more I laugh the more preposterous a tale blooms from my fingers.  It is medicine of joy for me...a middle aged woman who conjures up the stories of a child.  Pouring forth like a river of  bubbling lava, I have a warmth in my soul that reveals itself through my pens, colors, and incredibly silly thoughts...so what if they are strange or weird or unbelieveable...what if what we think of IS? Chuckles. Time to go back to the drawing board...and write more silliness!

It's well past midnight...time to go to sleep...and dream up some things to write tomorrow! Goodnight Walker! Goodnight Adriel! xoxo

WRITING TO LAUGH

I think I write to entertain not only the prospective readers I hope will one day immerse themselves in my toil and task, but I write so that I myself can be immersed in joy and laughter.  Take for instance the picture to the left...it is night time in a city, perhaps your city, but I thought it was mine when I drew it.  The church to the left is one of the country's oldest churches downtown in what used to be known as New Amsterdam...from that one building, I built a city...complete with cats on one rooftop sleeping happily, to the partying mice to the right on the other rooftop. Improbable, but possible...after all, how many of us know what mice really do when we go to sleep? As I drew this I started to smile, then laugh inside myself, and when it was well underway, I thought how wonderful it was that I was able to create a place that was a stage for a happy time in life...and how wonderful it was that I created this happiness! There is no question I derive great joy from drawing and writing ridiculous stories...especially if my son, for whom this story was created and told to, finds it humorous and silly too!
Tonight I'm playing with my story...letting it take me where IT wants to go...and I'm meeting up with some interesting situations...as for the characters...some are absurd and some are outrageous...as they should be when I know that what I am writing permits, encourages, and rejoices in, the improbable, yet sends a message that defends and promotes, ethical behavior, integrity, principles of kindness, compassion, empathy, and what it means to have and respect a value most cherished; honor.  So here we are, in a city, cats, dogs, human beings all together, with lives of their own and a young boy named Walker who is on his journey...where he's going I will go too! Back to finding out where he's going!